Showing posts with label my real life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my real life. Show all posts

Sunday, 11 October 2015

Before Kicking the Bucket

1000ft over Cambridge

Heart attack

I was shocked to wake up the other day. Not because I woke up, but because it was my 50th birthday. 50th! How did that happen? It feels (and sounds) so old. My father died in his 50s from his second heart attack. It makes me a little nervous, and also focuses my attention on where my life is going, what I've achieved so far and if I could do something to make me more content.

I don't want to think about the dying bit yet, as I haven't finished with living! In fact, a long time ago I decided that there were some things I definitely wanted to achieve before that day came. I narrowed it down to five and I don't intend on dying until I have ticked them all off!

My top five

  1. a black belt in martial arts
  2. to qualify as a pilot
  3. to speak another language
  4. to publish a book
  5. to play a musical instrument
So, how am I doing?

My progress

Not in my top five
  1. I managed a brown belt in martial arts and went for my black belt, but due to a cock-up at national level it wasn't to be.
  2. I qualified as a pilot of light fixed-wing aircraft.
  3. I live in Spain and can communicate in Spanish, although not as well as I'd like to but I am still learning.
  4. I have now published four books and am working on the next 15!
  5. I bought a guitar, I self-taught for a few years and was progressing, but life has a way of intruding on guitar practice. It will happen one day.
How about you? Are you drifting through life with no overall objectives or are you, like me, working on those all-important goals? Before you kick the bucket...

Tuesday, 10 March 2015

The Long Walk Home (a true short story)

It wasn’t the distance to home that silenced us. Two miles was in fact nothing for our young legs, we’d walked a lot further in search of action and adventure. We weren’t even tired, despite having continuously played our imaginative games in the park for the last four hours. And what games they’d been.
We knew the park like the back of our hands. First we’d run down the weird undulations of the fields to the swings and the absurdly high slide. Nobody told us the significance of the undulations. It was only years later that I discovered that they were in fact evidence of medieval farming actions.
Preparing for a childhood of adventure - the Burden Brothers
 But to us, they were something to run along and up and down as we flew our human aeroplanes all the way down to the play area near the bottom.
Having tired of the slide, we’d head further down the field to the river at the bottom. Getting wet feet back then was not only acceptable but expected. How else were we to capture Sticklebacks and Bullheads?
Once bored with the river we would walk parallel to the train track to the new pond area. What a great place to skim stones across the surface, scoring points for landing them on the small island.
Having exhausted the stones, we would then become a little more daring. Next to the lake was a small tunnel entrance. More of a culvert really. Incredibly, this tiny entrance was not closed off and proved just large enough for a small boy to crawl into. We all knew where it went to. After about twenty metres of crawling, any daring kid would be hidden in total darkness. After about another eighty metres you’d be directly below the train track. It was here that you prayed. Please, no trains!
If a train did come, not only would you hear it passing a few metres above your head but you’d also feel the vibrations through the ground and the disjointed brick work. Dust would fall invisibly onto your white face. Normally, the final thirty metres would be done in double-quick time as the tiny kids emerged blinking into the sun, hidden amongst an old barn at the edge of a field. It was just a quick hop over the farmer’s gate and short sprint across the train track back to the safety and familiarity of the park.
Having done all of this, the small band of nine-year-olds picked up a small track on the other side of the river, immediately adjacent to the train line. We’d never walked this path before and set off in search of something new.
About halfway along we discovered a gap in the railings guarding the track. It was the small hut that did it for us. A small brick hut just on the other side of the railings.
We were drawn through the gap and stepped into the hut. We’d found a new den, an apparently well-hidden or at least private den where we could fool around and play games and not worry about trespassers. And so it was that we spent the next hour playing in and around this new den, climbing through the hole where the window should have been and not caring about anything but the game.
We should have been more alert to the dangers really. After about five trains had passed just outside the window of the hut, close and fast enough to cause a massive whoosh of air, the sixth train crawled past the hut, slow enough for the driver to lean out of his window and shout something at us. I have no recollection of what he actually hollered but I do recall it wasn’t very nice. How did he know we were there? Why had he slowed down to a crawl on this rather fast part of the rail network?
We had no idea that other drivers had seen us kids scurrying into the hut as their trains had approached, or that they had radios and were in communicated with some distant control room, telling them of a group of kids playing dangerously on the track.
It was enough, however, to frighten us off. We left the train-side of the fence, headed through the gap in the railings and back onto the track. We turned to walk along it only to see a dark figure a hundred yards up the track. The filth!
The Burden brothers in the park of their youth.
Being the decent and sensible kids that we were, we turned and ran in the opposite direction. We didn’t know that the police had anticipated such behaviour and had split up, both approaching along the track from opposite directions. We had a choice: jump into the river and wade across or go back onto the train track. Being the brave sorts we were, we waited for the officer to reach us and watched him write our names into his pocket notebook. What added insult to injury was the fact that he recognised my surname and said he knew our dad. Everybody knew our dad: sometimes it was a bonus, other times a curse.
Dad. Oh bugger.
“Don’t go near that railway line!” he’d called to us, as we left home to head to the park.
“We won’t,” we’d promised. “We’re not stupid!”   
And now the policeman who knew our dad - was it as a friend or for bad things? - was on his way to our house to tell him that we’d been caught playing on the train track which we’d promised him we’d not go near.
We trudged on in terrified silence. It’d be all over the street by the time we got back - every parent would know what we’d been up to and would be waiting for us on their respective doorsteps.
I don’t recall our punishment but I’m sure it was severe yet well-deserved.
How our dad ever trusted us again I’ll never know.

Tuesday, 26 August 2014

When writing takes a back seat to a dog.

I try to write, I really do. At my last sitting a put down 2,500 words, but that was three (four?) days ago now and I haven't been able to get back to it at all.

Animals and the Spanish

Animals are partly to blame. You see, I live in a country where animals are treated merely as a commodity, with very little love shown to them if any. I live in Spain, a country famous for its bull fighting and bull running and numerous other 'traditional activities' which usually mean an animal has to suffer to please the people.

Abandoned

In the small region where I live (La Rioja, pop: 320,000), 5,000 dogs are abandoned each summer when families take off for three months vacation, the dog being nothing more than a costly nuisance. If it is there when they come back, they might even take it in again.  Over 300,000 pets are abandoned in Spain EVERY year, the worst country for abandonment in the European Union. After 10 days, Spanish law says they must be killed.

Adoption

Me with Pitbulls ELTON (L) and Rasta (R)
Elton cuddles up to my wife
What's this to do with my writing? Well, due to my love for animals and in an attempt to make up for the Spanish indifference to their animals, I recently went to the local charitable dogs' home, (Asociación Protectora de Animales en La Rioja) with my wife to see if we could help at all. The amazing volunteers there collect dogs from the local government killing houses and attempt to give them a longer life at the shelter, trying to have them adopted by people who care. We sponsored two Pitbulls, simply because they told us NOBODY will have anything to do with them due to the negative publicity re the breed, and because they were two of the friendliest dogs I have ever met. It means that we now drive the 25 mins to the shelter each day and take the two dogs out for a walk. They love it, and so do we.

Own dogs

This is on top of my own two dogs. Nina the Dalmatian was bought in Spain and - due to inconsiderate breeding - is 100% deaf. She is now 12 years old and doing fine, capable of understanding at least 15 hand signals. Adah is a 9 month old German Shepherd we bought in La Rioja. Today we confirmed that she has severe Dysplasia in both hips and needs an operation. She is in so much pain and I feared we were going to lose her. Dysplasia is very common in Spain, as most people just breed any dog to make a profit with little thought for the welfare of the dog.



Adah (L) and Nina (R)
I'll never BUY another dog in Spain as I can't trust the people to care enough to breed healthy animals, but I will go to the shelter and adopt dogs from there. If I had space, I'd take in Elton and Rasta tomorrow.

As for my writing, it seems a tad irrelevant right now.

Monday, 15 October 2012

When chilling out becomes productive

The idea was to disconnect, do some reading and generally recharge my batteries so that I return eager to get on with my writing. No writing, no work, just chill...

Big old farmhouse with jacuzzi (left)

Inner courtyard
This big, old, isolated farmhouse in the French Pyrenees is perfect for doing just that. On Friday night I lay in the outside jacuzzi (temperature 36.4) and stared up at the stars, emptying my mind. When you are in complete darkness, the stars come closer.

And then I realised. That story that had been mulling over inside of my head for the last three weeks was in fact another book to add to my list of must-write-soon books! Well, a series of three books actually. The working title? Dover Lord. That's another three years of life I'll be needing then.

The birth of a book. When do your babies come to you?

Friday, 11 May 2012

M4 (or My Magical Monday Moment)

My book cover
OK, hand on heart, I can truly say I am really proud to be able to say 'I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!' As of last Monday, I achieved my Dream and one of my 5 life-time ambitions (see below for other 4). Yeah, I published my first book...

OK, it's only 15,000 words short. OK, it's only priced at .99c. OK, I only get about 35c for each sale but that's not the point!

I worked hard to get to this stage. I started writing about 6 or 7 years ago, learning the craft of writing, punctuation, story lines, conflict, show don't tell, and everything else us authors have to learn to be able to call ourselves an author. Oh, I also needed a good looking cover, so I learnt how to do that too through trial and error, using various free image manipulation programs, making several up.

My baby was nervously sent out to volunteers to pull apart - the first people to ever read any of my work - then it was amended and given to an editor who really pulled it apart. After the final rewrite, I had it proof-read one last time and then turned to the formatting. I had to learn how to format my document for Smashwords and Amazon - no easy feat - yet it got through the first hurdle of being submitted for inclusion in the SW premium catalogue.

Me, around the time of  'End of the Road'.
Once all this was done, I had to check that the book looked OK on several platforms, that the people who were following me and waiting for the book not only got to know about it, but got a free coupon code for it too.

Then I discovered Amazon Central, a place to add author details, so I did this. Then I realised that this was only for Amazon.com, and that Amazon.co.uk, Amazon.es etc etc needed individual entries. Amazon also sent me to Shelfari to complete some book details, as these migrate across to Amazon.

I am also learning about where to follow my books performance, ie its sales, downloads etc, and so visited and set up home with NovelRank, My TitleZ, as well as learning which Amazon page to visit to learn of which sales...

A banner I created for the book
So you might forgive me for ignoring this blog, for dropping out of The Twitterverse, for basically closing the door of my cave to get this first task done. The on-line presence is essential to become a successful author, but it won't write your book for you...

So now I'm busy writing part 2, looking for a suitable image for the cover and trying to keep my on-line presence alive. I have to say, despite my absence, I have received some incredible support from certain Twitter folk, some of whom I have got to know over the months, others I hardly know at all.

It's fair to say that without the contacts I have made on Twitter, My Magical Monday Moment would never have come...

Thank you, you know who you are.
xx

Thursday, 12 April 2012

I'm OK, I'm still undead (sorry!)

I'm not dead, I'm not on holiday, I haven't had a nervous breakdown and I haven't been arrested. Truth is, I'm fed up with making excuses for not having a single book from my l-o-n-g list of 12 books published yet!

Knock before entering...
Ergo, I am hiding in my writer's cave.

I don't wanna be one of those writers who does more talking than writing, who does more networking than publishing. They aren't really writers, they are either people who talk about things they should be doing but can't be bothered, or social intercourse addicts who do a bit of writing when there's nobody on line...

Not me. I'm a writer. I know how many words I have written these last eight years. How many? Ooh, about a quarter of a million creative words, maybe more. But the only person to have read them is me! So it is a little absurd to be calling myself a writer or an author at this point, right?

Well, that's why I'm not here. Or on Twitter. OK, I have been boosting my Facebook page 'likes' when I can (and that's a story worth talking about later) but in truth, I have completely vanished from cyberspace! There is NO internet in my cave!

Because, to continue to call myself a writer, I must be able to do more than talk about it, I must be able to do more than Tweet about it, I must have a published book to offer you.

So that's what I have been doing, selfishly. I set myself a deadline of May 1 to get my first offering out there, and I need to cut myself off and get on with the craft of not just writing, but publishing my first book.

Life can't be ignored, the internet can - it's just a matter of will power (or a deep enough cave).

(The reason I am contradicting myself here and blogging tonight is that I have just finished the final edit of my first book, End of the Road, part one of The Rozzers series. My critique partners have been tapping their feet, believing I was just a talker-writer. I'm not. I am a writer!)

Saturday, 10 March 2012

The Rozzers!

Yes, that's what I have decided to call this cop series, The Rozzers. I love the name...

And this is the ebook cover I have designed for it. At the bottom of the blog you will also find a banner for the book, linking you through to my Smashwords' profile. It's all coming together nicely now!


I'm looking forward to my epub summer!

Friday, 9 March 2012

Lifetime Goals - my progress so far

2000ft over Cambridge, England
About 10 years ago I set myself 5 specific goals that I would like to complete within my lifetime. I don't know why I felt the need to do this, maybe it was middle-age?

However, this is the list...

  1. To become a pilot (of aeroplanes)
  2. To learn another language
  3. To obtain a martial art Black Belt
  4. To learn to play guitar
  5. To have a book published
To date, I have achieved the following...
  1. achieved
  2. 40% achieved 
  3. 90% achieved
  4. totally bombed (time-wise, something had to give! #theresalwaysretirement)
  5. I am very, very close to achieving this
How about you? Ever set yourself lifetime goals? If not, why don't you do it now?

Monday, 5 September 2011

Real people make real characters

Genuine old Peregrino, Santiago de Compostella
I've saved a girl's life, had people try to kill me in a riot, found a murder victim with a gunshot wound to the back of his head, crashed a car at high-speed and survived, avoided being shot by a LMG by metres, learnt to fly airplanes, met a burglar coming out of a broken door with a gun in his hand, witnessed sights too horrendous to mention and fallen in love so deeply it's embarrassing. I've also left a business English class whilst unknowingly leaving my boxer shorts on the office floor for all to see. I could go on, but then you'd never need to read Kicking the Cans... *

Magical secrets on a routine street
I've spent 46 crazy years living a life worthy of a book, a very long book. I have met people that I didn't know existed - didn't realise could have existed. Yet there they were, larger than life and so real. More real than any book I have ever read.

When I need to add characters to my book I need real people, real characters. I can't see my characters unless I can see the person. And if I can't see my character then they won't exist for you either, no matter how much I tell you about them.

So, where is this all going? Please, if you have any writing ambition, LIVE YOUR LIFE! No one else will do it for you, and a life worth living is a life worth dying for. And once you have lived it, and met those people you didn't know existed, only then can you add them to your book as real people, real characters.

They exist, do you?

My life, too much has happened for a single book, so KTCs is my first autobiography, starting from zero and finsihing at the end of my (official) education. How I survived at all I'll never know...

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Child minding...

Sometimes pure magic escapes from the mouths of children and lucky is the writer who gets to hear it. As a writer, you need people around you who surprise you with their unique and special outlook on the world, and none is more unique than a child. For fantasy writers, children are a great source of inspiration. If you aren't lucky enough to be surrounded by such magic, then a child in an adult's body is sometimes just as good.

And that's where I'm the lucky one. My wife...

Wifelette, in search of Faeries, Galicia, 2010
I was in the back garden of our new house the other day, filling in holes and flattening high-points on the lawn. Our garden is about as big as a telephone box and always reminds me of the surface of the moon, only covered in grass. My eye was drawn to a slight rise in the far corner. Atop of this rise was a large stone I recognized. This was no ordinary stone, this was the stone I had found on a Galician beach and lovingly carried home to my wife. This stone was as big as my out-stretched hand. This stone had spent centuries being caressed into a beautiful, flat round gem and it had, until this moment, been acting as a doorstop inside the house. I had even glued rubber to its bottom so as not to scratch the floor.

So what is it doing in the corner of this green moonscape? Enter wife.

'Wifelette? What's that stone doing on yonder hill?' I nodded in its direction.
The reply was instantaneous, with no time to think of a clever answer or even recall a well-rehearsed one.
'It's so the Faeries have somewhere to shelter,' she said, so matter-of-factly.
'Oh,' I said, and carried on filling the holes in, occasionally stealing glances at the stone in the corner.

If I'm lucky, I get a glimpse of the child inside of my wife's head every couple of weeks. The last one was when she opened the window to allow a butterfly to escape.
'Good bye little butterfly!' she called after it, 'Thank you for coming to visit us!'
Now why would a butterfly feel the need to visit people?

Ah, inspiration. Here it comes again...

Where does your inspiration come from? Are you as lucky as I am?

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Coconut the cat, before the op...

Hours of fun with a piece of Fusilli pasta...

Bad Drivers and Webbed-feet. Are they connected?

Asturias
I live in a part of the world which has remained isolated from the rest of the country until very recently. Asturias, in northern Spain, is so isolated that it is proudly boasted as the only part of Spain not to come under Moor control.

It is only in the last few decades that Asturias has been connected to other communities through EU funded communications construction. Even to this day, that work ploughs on unabated, often to the detriment of the beauty of the region.

Isolated peoples
Isolation in itself isn't a bad thing, so long as you avoid in-breeding, naturally. But it does throw up a few odd quirks which are unique to the people involved. Some people seem to think the French have webbed-feet, whilst it is true that on an island in Indonesia lived a Hobbit species as recently as 12000 years ago.

Roundabouts
Isolation under Franco led to Spain becoming one BIG carpark
In Asturias, the locals have developed a unique system for negotiating roundabouts. They will never use the inside two lanes, no matter what exit they are taking. In Oviedo, capital of Asturias, everybody drives round in the outside lane, thus reducing a three-laned roundabout to a one-laned roundabout. It also adds to the fun factor for visitors from the outside, as they try to exit the roundabout from an inner lane, only to discover a local driving into the side of them. Indeed, even the locals often get it wrong. One only has to stand at the side of any roundabout in the city (but the ones on the ring-road are the best) for a bit of local entertainment. Just keep your eye open for any foreign cars.

I have it on good authority - and have seen it myself - that drivers under instruction here are told by their instructor to always take the outside lane, no matter where you want to go, as it is 'complicated' to choose the correct lane. Once you leave Asturias, you'll find drivers able to deal with the complexities of roundabout lane choice without too much effort.

Isolation, it does throw up some oddities...

(PS. They are crap at designing road systems too...)

Monday, 20 June 2011

The President and the Light-bulb

In Spain, each building has a President representing the community of the building for all matters communial.

So when we bought our new academy and discovered the twin-light bulbs had blown on the landing outside our door, causing us a problem in getting the key into the hole, it was to el Presidente that we turned...

'Can't see a thing old chap, need the bulbs changing please.'

'Er, well, you need to write a formal letter to me, explaining the situation. Only then can I get somebody in to look at the problem,' he says.

'But,' I says, 'it's just a fucking light-bulb...'

'Yes, therefore we need to get an electrician in, so, if you could write me a letter?' he insists ( it is an important position, after all...)

'OK, of course,' I reply, as understanding as any Englishman can be in Spain.

Before el Presidente reached his 4th floor apartment both bulbs had been changed and the communidad wasn't charged a penny...

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

The sofa and the fridge

'But where is it?' she asked, turning to look up at me.
'Er, it had woodworm,' I lied. 'So I had to throw it out.' She stood staring at the red replacement sofa I'd hauled up the stairs some years earlier, a hand-me-down off a neighbour.

My landlady was tiny and frail, and so like my own dearly-departed grandmother that I just wanted to hug her. I wasn't sure who was older - Gloria or the cast-out sofa. But I loved this lady, and I just couldn't hurt her by saying I'd thrown it out because it was ugly and about as comfortable as lying on a hoover. Even the charity collectors had looked shocked when they came to collect it.
'Er, sorry, we don't do sofas...' was all they could mutter as they quickly backed out of the door. And so it had been tossed out onto the pavement for the council to collect and burn - or donate to a museum.

'But it was new,' she said, befuddled. I stared up at the tapestry-thingy I'd hoovered and returned to its pride of place on the wall above the sofa. I registered that I still had to clean the spot under the bed where it had been hidden for the last five years.
'No Gloria, not new. Second hand, like the fridge.' Shit, I shouldn't have mentioned the fridge. They did take the fridge away, at least that worked. Constantly.
'Is the fridge here, or did that have woodworm too?' she asked, concern etched all over her face.

Monday, 30 May 2011

Moving house, part 1

Saturday.

Load the big car up with as many boxes as I can cram in. Two floors, no lift, no help. Just me and good old stamina. Bike on new bike rack on back.

5 hour drive to new city interrupted by cop on motorbike. Lets me off not having any ID, not to mention any car documents, but gives me 40 Euro fine for bike obstructing rear plate.

Whilst waiting for ticket I noticed liquid pouring out from beneath engine (breakdown assistance details still in wallet at home). Fortunately it was only air-conditioning fluid. Switch off air-conditioning.

Continue drive in 23 degrees C heat, increasing by two degrees every subsequent hour!

Arrive in new city, unload car single handedly. No time for shower, Champions League final is on, but at least able to drink real beer in Irish pub.

Go to hostal, unable to sleep due to 50 year old drunken Spanish woman thinking she was 16 again. Finally slept at 6am.

11am back to office, organising the unpacking.

Dinner Sunday evening with friends, too tired to drive back 5 hours to home.

Monday morning, 5 hour drive home, no cops. Arrive home, knackered.

No chance of writing book tonight.

Goodnight. x