Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics. Show all posts

Monday, 15 August 2011

US super-cop just Cameron's cop-out, claim cops

Following the unprecedented rioting witnessed across England last week, British Prime Minister David Cameron has announced plans for US police chief Bill Bratton to be a paid adviser to the UK government on 'gangs'.

British Police, quite rightly, are not impressed. Sir Hugh Orde, President of the Association of Chief Police Officers, said, 'I am not sure I want to learn about gangs from an area of America that has 400 of them. It seems to me, if you've got 400 gangs, then you're not being very effective.'
Perhaps Mr Bratton might learn something from us?
I'm sure there is more to add to the list, but I think you are beginning to get the point?

So, Mr Cameron, no doubt you will pay hundreds of thousands to Mr Big US cop who will no doubt finish his working holiday with the following expert advice:

'Guns man! Give the cops guns! Jeez, you can't deal with gangs without guns!!'

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Barack's Beast Bettered by Britain's Baby Beast

Barack Obama's recent unplanned introduction to the vagaries of the European road system caused a flurry of concern in Downing Street, where the British Prime Minister David Cameron had been busily planning for the impending visit of the US President and his wife. Hoping to avoid a similar embarrassment to the one which occurred as the presidential cavalcade left the US Embassy in Dublin, the PM instructed MI5 to come up with a solution - fast. “After all,” he said, “Britain's road system is exactly the same as Ireland's.”















A spokesperson for Downing Street denied that the PM was concerned that recent budget cuts had undermined his belief in the British police “to be able to look after the President properly”, stating that “the PM had full confidence in the British security services”. He also added that "such an amateur over site by the US Secret Service in their own back yard would never occur on British soil if British security personnel were involved, I can assure you."

“Despite such fears, in the spirit of the 'special relationship' that still exists between the UK and the US, the PM has decided to offer the President and the First Lady full use of a British, purpose built Baby Beast that won't get stuck on any bumpy bits, and costs just a fraction of the 'safest car in the world’.”


British writer Diem Burden, the proud owner of the black 1996 Rover Mini limo, stated, “The Baby Beast, or Burp as I like to call it, might not be the safest car in the world but it does go over bumps with ease, and it’s probably the most environmentally friendly limo in the world. Plus, it looks cool. British cool.’

A spokesperson for the Obama administration declined to comment, stating that they never discuss the President’s security arrangements.

Wednesday, 31 May 2006

Ferocious in Battle, Magnanimous in Victory

"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory,"

These are some of the incredibly moving and memorable words given by the British Colonel Tim Collins on the eve of battle of the Iraq war to his soldiers...

"We go to liberate, not to conquer.
We will not fly our flags in their country. We are entering Iraq to free a people and the only flag which will be flown in that ancient land is their own.

Show respect for them.

There are some who are alive at this moment who will not be alive shortly.
Those who do not wish to go on that journey, we will not send. As for the others, I expect you to rock their world. Wipe them out if that is what they choose.
But if you are ferocious in battle remember to be magnanimous in victory.

Iraq is steeped in history.
It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birthplace of Abraham.
Tread lightly there.

You will see things that no man could pay to see
- and you will have to go a long way to find a more decent, generous and upright people than the Iraqis.
You will be embarrassed by their hospitality even though they have nothing.

Don't treat them as refugees for they are in their own country.
Their children will be poor, in years to come they will know that the light of liberation in their lives was brought by you.

If there are casualties of war then remember that when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day.
Allow them dignity in death.
Bury them properly and mark their graves.

It is my foremost intention to bring every single one of you out alive.
But there may be people among us who will not see the end of this campaign.
We will put them in their sleeping bags and send them back.
There will be no time for sorrow.

The enemy should be in no doubt that we are his nemesis and that we are bringing about his rightful destruction.
There are many regional commanders who have stains on their souls and they are stoking the fires of hell for Saddam.
He and his forces will be destroyed by this coalition for what they have done.
As they die they will know their deeds have brought them to this place. Show them no pity.

It is a big step to take another human life.
It is not to be done lightly.
I know of men who have taken life needlessly in other conflicts.
I can assure you they live with the mark of Cain upon them.

If someone surrenders to you then remember they have that right in international law and ensure that one day they go home to their family.
The ones who wish to fight, well, we aim to please.

If you harm the regiment or its history by over-enthusiasm in killing or in cowardice, know it is your family who will suffer.
You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest -- for your deeds will follow you down through history.
We will bring shame on neither our uniform or our nation.

It is not a question of if, it's a question of when.
We know he has already devolved the decision to lower commanders, and that means he has already taken the decision himself.
If we survive the first strike we will survive the attack.

As for ourselves, let's bring everyone home and leave Iraq a better place for us having been there.

Our business now is North."

The Prince of Wales later wrote that he was by the "extraordinarily stirring, civilised and humane" words.

"What you said somehow encapsulated, in a brilliantly inspired way, everything that we have come to expect of our armed forces and demonstrated why, quite simply, they are the best in the world," he wrote.

This is one of the most famous of recent speeches. It has been said that George W Bush has this speech on the wall of the Oval Office in the White House.

At approximately the same time, somewhere in the Persian Gulf, on board a US aircraft carrier as hostilities commenced, its Captain blasted out Queen's 'We will rock you!' over the tannoy system to accompany the Cruise Missiles being launched on the same people...

Tuesday, 9 May 2006

England in Spring, oh bollocks...

Oh England, my England. I was so happy to leave you and never return and then I see pictures like this and remember how beautiful you are.

Oh bollocks, take me back. Please. Forgive me and let me cast my weary eyes on your captivating beauty once more...


(Just get rid of the bloody dictatorial BBC TV Licence, the Community Charge, Road Fund Licences (Tax Discs) and that shite Big Brother first...!)

Sunday, 7 May 2006

Where are the Police when you need them...?

I shouldn't really laugh but I found this picture highly amusing. Taken from the BBC website, 'Residents of the Mexican town of San Salvador Atenco rose up against police on Wednesday, chasing them out of town and taking control.'

The group of cops you see are actually running away from the mob of people running after them. How far did they run? Were they in step? What happened to the fat guy all police units have?